Dear Mom (Short story)

 I have been here about a month. New school. New friends. New living space. I have never thought my life will get any better. I still remember the very first day I saw her. It had been years now I have met her. She’s very alluring. Anyone who knew her will find that she’s captivating. I myself mesmerised with her grace. How can I forget her?

               A motivational programme will be held this weekend. It’s one of the society activity that I need to get involve with. Always get my precious leisure time occupied with this kind of thing. But, I do find they’re fascinating, not a burden at all. To be part of the technical family is the best part is true. I could see various people with their anxiety. The agitation to meet the well-known speaker I guess. The speaker do have a charismatic aura in him and a good looking man after all. I’m beaming widely for those thoughts.

              What happen next will be memorable as far as I can remember, I accidentally capture the sight of her presence here. She’s right there! In her seat beside the hall’s aisle. She still has her charm with her. I could not believe my eyes. Is this a dream? I pinch my arms, cheeks even the legs. They do hurt. I’m not waking up from sleeps either. I look up for her again. She’s still there. I’m not dreaming! I can’t help feeling electrified. What should I do? What should I do? Can’t take my eyes off her. She had bewitched me since forever. Is she a witchcraft? I hope she is and I hope this moment will never end.

              Now I have her number in my hand. Do I have to call her? How about sending a ‘Hi’ text to her? Oh. Or whatsapp? It is easier. But. What if she ignore my whatsapp text? What if she doesn’t remember me? What if she changed her phone number? I sigh, lying down on the crackling bed. That sweet smile was so enchanted. Dear heart, please fathom my feelings for her. I stare the spinning fan, I could not think of anything else other than her. Abruptly, I got a strength. I get up from bed telling myself to get a grip. It is worth a try. Sending a ‘Hi’ won’t cause a disastrous calamity. Pushing H. And i. ‘Hi’. Sent.

              One minute passed. Fifteen minutes passed. It had been blue ticked. It has been half an hour now. She will not going to reply. Again I sigh. One hour passed. A message received. She replies! I stunned. This day will going to be the best day in my life. Okay. Relax. The butterflies really get into my nerve. Tummy please, you’re not helping. Breathe in. Breathe out. Okay, typing in ‘How’s your life?’ That’s should be it. Sent. Hands, please, why are you guys quivering? Suddenly, the phone’s vibrating. What? She gives a call! I’m panting, almost faint. Telling myself to pick it up, my hands are doing a great job.

              “Hi”, she starts the conversation. Cat caught my tongue. What should I say? “Are you there?” she continues. I need to say something. At least. Go for it.

              “Uhh-hh-hi. I’m-mm h-ee-re ”, I give a stammer reply. What will she thinks about me?  Some kind of stuttering lunatic. Or maybe worst. Urgh.

              “I’m sorry for calling, well, in all of a sudden. I’m curious. Do we know each other?” she exclaim. She’s fast. And straight forward. Why can’t I be like her?  “I hope you’re not occupied with important things right now”.

                “No. Yes. No. I mean yes. I mean we practically know each other. And I’m not doing anything right now.” I reply. Yes! I did it! I manage to talk eloquently. Duh. I should be less exaggerating when it comes to compliment myself. I laugh quietly. Why am I having this absurd conversation in my head when I should be worrying about her?

               “That’s great. I thought I’m going to disturb you. Well, who are you by the way?” she asks enthusiastically. Can’t she be more direct? I haven’t seen her for years but her sweet voice does not changing at all. It brings back the serenity that I used to feel years ago. All the tranquillity that I’ve never feel after we separated.

                “I miss you.. I miss you.. Do you know how much did I miss you back then?” I can’t help it anymore. Tears rolling down my cheeks. I’m sobbing. She’ll know that I’m weeping. Let it be.

                 “I’m sorry. But are you crying? Why? Do we really know each other? Who am I to you, who are you to me?” she asks continuously. But, I can’t answer her perpetual questions with this condition. I have to put this conversation to an end.

                 “I’m sorry.. I’ll call you back.. Soon.. Bye.” I stop the conversation. I broke into tears. They are running down vigorously. Oh. How I miss her. I miss her. I miss her so much. Suddenly the phone’s vibrating. A text received. It’s from her. ‘I’ll wait’. She will wait! She is earnest. No one can replace her. She will stay in my heart forever.

                 Today is the day. I reminisced how it took courage and guts to send the ‘Let’s meet up’ text. I’m standing in front of the mirror. Looking at myself, I’ll be the best looking guy today. Even though I’m dressing casually, I want to be seen at my very best. She’ll say that I’m the most handsome guy on Earth. She’ll say that no one can beat my good looking face. She’ll say that all the girl will fall for me. Because she is my dear mom.

p/s: I'm sure there are loads of grammatical errors

                  

Pre-raya haji

May peace be upon you

First week of school started. Seronok. Belajar benda baru. So, this semester we'll be having 9 subjects to bear with, which quite a few. Going to get busy for this upcoming weeks, I guess. And we are having night class as well. Satu je pon which is tutorial for law subject (tak ingat subject apa), tapi tak apa, adat jadi student. Best jugak kan? Ke tak? Kbye.

Subjects that will be in arabic language are ulum hadith, ulum quran, and aqidah. The rest will be in english, macam biasalah. Tak taulah macam mana nak present dengan buat assignment nanti. Harapnya arab aku dah improve sikit. 5% pon dah ok. Tapi arab arab pon seronok. Belajar bahasa yang kita tak selalu guna dalam daily conversation and at the same time belajar bahasa Quran. Tau and fahamlah sikit sikit. Kan. And law subjects tu kena banyak baca. Kena start rajin baca precedent cases nih. Sorry lah. Nak murajaah benda yang dah belajar ni still tunggang langgang lagi. But, whatever it is, the whole week was a blast.

And rumah sewa, ok ja. Cuma, recently robberies scathingly attacks the students who live in rental houses. Alhamdulillah, we are yet safe from any robbery.

What's next?

Cuti seminggu. Ibu and ayah dah plan baik punya. Buat barbecue dekat places around here, lepas balik dari kampung of course. Oh ya, esok hari wukuf di Arafah bagi yang mengerjakan haji. Sunnat puasa esok. Dan lusa Hari Raya Haji-Korban. Sunat makan selepas solat raya (takut lupa). Tahun ni raya haji dekat kampung dekat sikit dengan rumah.

Tak ada apa dah ni.

Itu je kot. Until then.

Road to a new life

May peace be upon you

Tak kira, nak tulis jugak. Serious tak sabar nak masuk semester baru dengan housemates baru dengan subjek baru dengan life baru and macam macam baru lagi lah. Tapi takut tu still ada. takut tak ngam dengan orang baru. Tapi Alhamdulillah dah boleh control sikit dah perangai selfish tah pape tu. Percayalah, selalunya kalau first time jumpa, people will have this thought,

"This girl sombong gila"

"Pehal minah ni"

Ingat lagi ada member masa dekat kmk dulu. Di mengaku kot tak nak kawan dengan aku. Tapi last sekali aku lah antara orang yang paling rapat dengan dia. Ceh.

Each thing that I did, succeed because i managed to overcome my fear. Semua benda, almost everything are my fear.

Belajar bawak kereta, masa nak masuk degree dulu, nak start conversation dengan orang, nak tanya soalan, nak buat apa apa lah. Semua tu ketakutan aku.

Aku dibayangi dengan benda benda 'hisy tak mungkinlah aku boleh' sampai satu masa ni, kepala terhantuk dekat dinding, mungkin.

'Aku kena berubah' 'Sampai bila nak jadi macam ni' 'Aku pon boleh buat jugak'  masa ni dengki gila dekat orang lain kot. Tu yang akhirnya berubah lah sikit. Sikit. Hmmm

Tapi rasanya setakat ni yang faham aku cuma sorang je kot. Bolehlah best of the best. Walaupun selalu buat pickup line tak jadi dekat aku. Tak lut. Hahaha. Kesian.

Pemikiran dia bagi aku hebat lah. Benda benda yang aku malas nak fikirlah yang dia suruh aku berfikir. Ok, dia tak suruh pon. Tapi kalau dah start cakap pasal satu benda tu memang sampai ke lubang cacinglah aku cari (hiperbola je semua tu). Seronok lah jugak. Terbuka sikit minda. Dan lain lain perkara jugak.

5 tahun satu sekolah dulu pon tak pernah nak bertegur macam sekarang kot.

Papepon thanks, mate. Bagi aku makan free tau nanti. Hahaha

Okay, what else.

I've found a song I used to listen when i were a kid. Waterfalls.

'Don't go chasing waterfalls. Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to'.

Tak taulah maksud tersiratnya. Cuma sebab rasa best kat part chorus je. Hahaha

Itu je kot.

VARK

May peace be upon you

Yesterday, a friend of mine asked some thoughts on a topic. Universities should ban power points- it makes students stupid and lecturers boring. I agreed the statement.

But, I don't think that the power points should be at fault for the whole thing. 

I watched a video on facebook starred a motivator from abroad. He talked about the education system. Yes, I agreed on his views. Most education system subjected only on one type of learning style when there are many of them. For example the VARK. Whats VARK stands for?

V-Visual

A-Audio

R-Reading/Writing

K-Kinesthetic (Im not sure if this spell's correct)

So, I guess maybe we as a student  need to discover own own learning styles and find our study preferences. Scour the internet and look for the quiz on VARK, they will help, more or less. And we responsible to do the rest. And what is that? INCREASE OUR GRADES! 

I've done two different set on VARK questionnaires. They showed different results. They are V and R. I think im prone to R. And V. I'll need to consider both study preferences in my next semester. I hope im not going to be a procrastinator for the upcoming days that will attached to hardships. (Apabendala yang aku mengarut ni)

This is something interesting for research. Kot. 

At least I knew Im a reading/writing person. And visual.

P/s: Usim bagi cuti seminggu raya haji. Tapi kena ganti lah. Im okay. *breathe in and out heavily*

Itu je kot.

Peace Be Upon You

Its a fresh start. I want to start all over again and just making it as simple as it can be. Im not a good writer. But if i could, i want to publish post as much as i can. Even though i knew that all the posts will going to be about myself. Hoho.

Jadi, as its going to be really new. I'll just introduce myself briefly. Im Ammar. I just like that name. Its make me special. Yelah. Selalunya bila nama Ammar, its a guy. Well, aku perempuan. Macam pelik bila bahasakan aku tapi seronok sebab nanti boleh keluar semua kegilaan dan kemengadaan yang ada. Seronoklah pulak. Hahaha.

Jadi for a starter, in a few days time i'll be going back to school. Nanti startlah belajar yang pening - pening kepala, yang kena makan kismis banyak sebab nak ingat principles yang ada. Tak boleh nak comparelah kan dengan yang pursue studies in sciences. Dengan formula lah, kira - kiralah. Maybe aku ni jenis yang susah sikit nak faham semua benda ni akhirnya ditempatkan ke dalam satu field yang agak ringan sikit but still critical thinking ada jugak. Susah sikit dengan kena cari facts, evidence semua tu tapi overall seronok. Kena belajar have fun lah kan. He knew better kan kan kan.

Itu je kot. 

Peace be upon you